Grandma

81 years ago today you were born. I bet they didn't know when you were born what a special person you would be to sooooo many people. 1032 hour ago we all lost you. I have never felt such a pain in my heart. You were everything to me. You were everything to a lot of people. You met the man of your dreams married him had 5 of his babies and all to soon lost him. You raised 5 children all on your own. This is amazing to me. I have 3 and I feel like I am drowning but you gracefully did 5 on your own. All 5 of those kids grew in to some great adults. Between the 5of they gave you 15 grand kids. 15 grand kids who could not have had a greater grandma. We were soooo lucky. I look at other families around us and they just are not like us. We always teased each other how weird our family is but under that teasing we are all so greatful because of you grandma you kept us all together. Those 14 cousins of mine are not really cousin but more like siblings.  You were a rock you made sure at least once a week we all saw each other. You kept us together. When there was things my mom just couldn't handle doing with me you were there. When this cousin or that cousin needed a stern talking to you had no problem doing it. When anyone us got in trouble we made sure you were the first to know. Sure we are a weird family but thank god for that.

When my mom showed us this house that was for sell I can say the biggest perk what that you were only a block away. The many hours I spent on your couch just chatting away bringing you dinner or stopping for a cup of sugar. Oh I miss that sooooo much. I just want to talk to you. There is nothing in particular I want to talk to you about just talk and have you talk back about the pointless thing stuff we talked about. Because of living so close to you my kids were able to get almost as close to you as I did as a child. They were forming that same bond and that was special to me. I'm so happy my kids got to realize what a special person you were.
You should have died that one day at regions but you didn't. I don't know why but you held on. Not only did you hold on but held on for 3 more months. 3 more months of being able to talk to you. I couldn't have asked for more. I think that's why when you did pass I felt better about it. I walked in to the nursing home that morning and my stomach dropped, I just knew it was time. I knew after Patty passing only 3 weeks earlier that you wouldn't be able to hold on much longer. That morning was wasn't scary or panicky it was your last lucid moments and weather you chose it or not you spent them with me. (and Cora) at least I got to "see" you one last time before you left us.

I miss you more then you could ever know. About a million times now I have picked up the phone to call you. I don't know if Ill ever get over that feeling but just know that every one is here thinking about you and missing you every single day. You were not just a grandma you were a best friend.

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Couple random things.

1. T-mobile throdeled my internet speed becasuse I went over 5G this month. Ugh its worse then dial up. Well at least I don't have to pay our corupt phone company here in town. Seriouisly they are the worst.

2. I have a super cute picture of all 3 of the kids in it but I can't share it quite yet. Its damn cute though trust me.

3. Little Reese is doing amazing for just having gone through brain surgery. Yesterday she got out of bed in to a therapy chair and then later sat up in bed all on her own. Today she cuddled with her mom for the first time in 7 days. She is even getting her sass back with is totally her. My friends have raised an amazing $17,000 for her in less then a week they are so cool peeps I tell ya.

4. I had to order some prints for a client and it gave me a chance to order some much needed prints for my self. Seriously you would think because I am a photographer I would have pictures all over my house. That is totally not the case. I have 4 tiny 8x10's up and a couple 5x7's. I finally got around to ordering that really big print I have wanted. We had our family pictures taken by the awesome Cathrine Jeteter Photography back in March and I just haven't gotten around to printing any of them off except for a lousy 8x10. Anyways go big or go home. Here is what I ordered today the big one and the pink one are from Cathrine the others I took. The big one is 20x30!

5. Kind of goes with #4. I love my printing place for many reasons but there shipping time and cost is outstanding. I ordered the prints at 6 am this morning by 8am they where done in production and ready to be shipped. If I wasn't lazy and it didn't cost me money I could have drove the hour it takes to get to the place and picked them up. Instead I will wait for them to get here tomorrow. Yes I said that right the very next day. Also shipping is free and they also give you a sucker with your order. I don't think Walmart can beat there prices. (I just looked and Walmarts 8x10's and 5x7's cost more.) I am cheap but prints are just not something I want to look crappy. Walmarts pictures suck bad. Seriously do not go to walmart or walgreens or target or any other place like that. If you are looking for a great consumer lab go to Mpix.com. Its not who I use because I use a pro lab but I have used them in the past and they were great!

6. I am loving that the election is over. Thank god for no more add on TV, my mail box, radio, and every where I go. I called it I knew Obama would win. I am not sure how to feel about it but I am in no means ready to jump off a bridge like many of my friends on Facebook were on Wednesday morning.

7. My grandma. Ugh where do I start with her. She is my world dude this lady is awesome probably the coolest grandma's around. Her health is failing her and it sucks I just hate to see it. This week she went to stay with one of my aunts because she didn't feel good. A couple weeks ago she lost her eye sight in one eye. She now takes something like 15 drops in her bad eye every day. Problem is she can't see anything to put the drops in. She basically needs care during all waking hours. I think she is starting to realize her time living at home is done. Where she goes from here I don't know.

8. Cora had speech today and did awesome! She was actually making noises and stuff. No she wasn't saying words but hell she was trying and that awesome to me.

9. Parent teacher conferences are next week. I am scared for what Carter's teacher is going to say. Carter is a shit head at home. I have asked her many times since school started and she always says he is doing great. He has had a lot of issues on the bus but his teacher keeps telling me he is not like that at school. Its seriously a ticking time bomb I know one day he will be a shit head at school too. Oliver I am not worried about he is a cute little 3 year old who can do no wrong in most people's eyes. Not mine but most people.

10. This is the worst one of all. We are putting on of our dogs to sleep tomorrow. I can't write much more because the tears will start flowing for the millionth time today. Its hard it sucks and I hate it. Our dogs were our babies long before we had kids. Gabby is only 7 and because of shitty breading her health is bad and well I don't want her to suffer. We have explain what is going to happen to Carter and he totally understands and honestly doesn't care. He actually asked to put another one of our dogs to sleep with Gabby because he thinks she is getting to old too. Tonight at dinner he asked if we can get a new dog next week. Um ya no buddy sorry we still have 2 other dogs. I know he wants a dog he can play with and well old pugs are just no fun to play with but we wont be getting another dog for many years.

11. Jim's birthday is next week and I know what I am getting him and I am excited about it. Its something he needs kind of and he would never spend the money on it him self.

And with that I leave you with this. Can some one please tell me when my baby all of a sudden became a teenager?

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Preschool Graduation Day

What a bitter sweet day it was. It feels like yesterday when I was sending him off to his first day of preschool and now the year is already over. He is so so excited for next year and to go to his new school. I too am excited for next year. Oliver will be going to the same school. He was accepted in to the early intervention program. Carter and Oliver will go to the same school at the same time 4 days a week. Not only that but they will both ride the bus to school though they will be on different buses. I am so excited about it. I think going to school will really really help Oliver out.

Here are some pictures of graduation day I finally got around to editing and uploading.

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